A Drama Triangle
Like everything in life, whatever path we choose, there is a price to be paid.
Especially for a Drama that you are stuck in.
A Drama that you probably aren’t even aware that you’re stuck in.
And that’s what we will explore with this concept.
The Concept
Let’s start with a very relatable one.
Pick any relationship in your life where drama is involved. It can be with your parent, a sibling, a partner, a friend, a boss, etc.
Now since it’s a drama, you and the other person might fall under any of these 3 categories in the triangle.
- Victim
- Villain
- Saviour
So let’s say I have a drama with my boss.
My drama is that he gives me and my team too much work and also expects us to perform really well, despite the workload.
Now because I am constantly taking in the work and not voicing these things out, I am slowly developing some angst or irritation and hence, this has turned into a drama.
So here,
I’ve made myself the Victim.
I’ve made my boss, the Villain.
And within the relationship of a Villain, Victim or a Saviour, there are some components which are hidden.
Let’s break down the hidden terms.
Benefit: I am benefitting from this drama in some way.
In this case, I get to complain about an authority.
It’s easier to sit and complain rather than actually solve the problem.
Maybe I am happy in my comfort zone of not taking action.
That’s my benefit.
Price: This is a price that I have to pay if I continue to be involved in this drama.
In this case, the workload challenge still exists. I’m not helping to solve the problem at all by complaining.
So the price may be a potential burnout from my end if I continue to work at this pace.
Or the price can be my relationship with my boss where I’m not communicating and letting myself form opinions which may not be true.
That’s the price.
Being: Who am I being in this drama?
In this case, maybe I am being a complainer. Or maybe I am being fearful? Fearful of confrontation with my boss.
That’s my being.
Note that there is a word ‘hidden’ besides benefit, price, and being.
And it’s hidden for a reason.
Because these things may not be visible to us at first glance and hence we might have to put in the work.
What’s the work? Self-inquiry.
Through self-inquiry, I realize that this drama is leading nowhere, and I might have to shift my being.
From being a complainer, I decide to being a leader.
Now that I’ve changed my being, I am taking steps to solve this problem for me and my team.
And there, I am starting to create new possibilities.
Welcome to Ontology.
A study of being through self-inquiry that can create new possibilities.
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Credits: Abhinand U P,
Ontological Coach
Abhinand.com.au
Grateful to Abhinand for introducing the study and tool.
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